Although we have 100 dogs (slight exaggeration), we don’t go to the dog park very often. First of all, you can’t really take a toddler to the regular dog park. The other problem is that our dogs aren’t really good at it.
Coltrane hates the dog park. Hates it. As a black lab/border collie, he has the desire to herd other dogs but lacks the intelligence to figure out how to do so (no offense). So at the dog park, Coltrane runs from one group of dogs to another, barking his fool head off because he wants them to all be in one group together but he has no idea how to make this happen. Coltrane doesn’t chase balls; he chases dogs chasing balls. It was at the dog park that we realized Coltrane’s name should’ve been Urlacher — he’ll pretty much flatten any dog trying to fetch anything. This doesn’t make him a big hit with people or dogs at the dog park. The last time we took him to a dog social event, he spent the entire time yelling at the kids to get off his lawn and falling into the pool from which he had to be rescued because he couldn’t figure out how to get out (hint: stairs).
Peaches just tries to eat other dogs. In her defense, that last one looked like a big dollop of vanilla ice cream on legs, but I can’t take a dog who tries to eat other dogs to the dog park. That’s rude.
Sadie, obviously, is the brains of the operation over here. The problem with her is that as the Houdini of the dog world, an unusually small miniature pinscher can escape from most enclosures meant to contain dogs, such as most dog parks. The other problem is that as a small dog who believes she is a large dog, I’m always afraid bigger dogs will try to eat her.
So, although the effort possibly outweighs the reward, we take Sadie to a small dog meetup once a month, whether she likes it or not. This involves driving with Sadie in a car (fun times) and going to a dog daycare center with a reasonably decent fenced area that can contain small dogs.
Sadie, as a small dog who believes she is a large dog, has little use for other small dogs, so she occupies herself by wandering around being aloof, following us, and playing with Soren, who comes along because, well, small dogs probably aren’t going to hurt him and are fast enough to avoid him when necessary and because, well, if he didn’t, we’d never go.
To tell you the truth, I never used to like little dogs. I was a big-dog person. I’m still a big-dog person, but now I’m a little-dog person, too. Which I think makes me kind of weird, but that’s cool.
I am not embarrassed to say that this shit is straight from Gossip Girl: