Sometimes you want something and you make a reasonable effort to attain what you want. You fail. After failing for a long time, you find out you’re going to get what you want. Then you realize you’re not sure you want it after all. Then you find out you’re not going to get it. Then you’re all fucked up for a while. There will be a period of adjustment but you’ll get over it. In the end, you’ll be glad you wanted, tried, failed, attained, lost, got fucked up, adjusted, and came to terms with the whole thing. You arrive at the same outcome as if you never tried, but now you own it rather than just falling into it. That’s good.
Here is a picture of a cat.