Solving Problems


My favorite thing to do lately is get high and solve the world’s problems. Here are a few of my latest ideas.

* (Okay, this one is old and I wasn’t high at the time, but I really like it.) I want someone to invent giant, industrial-grade contact paper that you can stick to plaster walls. Then you take a hammer to the plaster to break it into pieces, which will stick to the contact paper so it can be removed. Exposed brick without the mess!

* The Olympic campus in Sochi, which faces an uncertain future, could be donated to a new university. The University of Sochi could use my cat, Xochitl, who is fat but lovely, as a mascot. The Sochi Xochitls!

Xochitl

* You’ve probably heard about the stray dogs in Sochi. (I’m not going to link a story because it’ll make me cry.) The good news is people like silver medalist Gus Kenworthy are trying to help. Check this out.

My idea is that Russia could give each Olympian a dog to take home. Of course, not all Olympians would want a dog, but if even a few of them did, it would save a few dogs.

* In the alternative and if the University of Sochi doesn’t work out, use one of those multimillion-dollar arenas as an animal shelter for all the dogs and offer vacation packages so Sochi could become a tourist destination for people who want to volunteer at Russian animal shelters, some of who might actually exist.

If you have a problem you’d like me to solve while high, send an email to aniccata at aniccata dot com and I’ll give it a shot!