This afternoon after doing our tree-related volunteer work, we went to our favorite local brewery, Epic, for a couple beers. We brought some sliced strawberries, a coloring book, and crayons for Soren to keep him occupied.
He was reasonably loud as an almost-4-year-old is wont to be. Nobody around us seemed to be bothered by him.
At one point, I went up to the bar to get beer. When I got back to our table, Ben reported that a woman sitting near us took pictures of him and Soren while I was gone. Creepy and weird, I thought, but not really anything to worry about (as much as I wanted to in light of the recent catfishing of Soren that occurred).
When this woman and her male companion got up to leave a while later, she blatantly took more pictures of us. It was noticeable enough to freak me out. The guy went up to the bar to pay and she went over to where there are t-shirts and other merchandise available for purchase. Ben mentioned the earlier photo taking and I was irritated enough to aim my camera at her and shoot a picture when she turned around.
After that, she went outside very quickly. The guy was still at the bar. We were bothered that someone was taking pictures of us and so Ben went outside to ask her what was up. She said she was taking pictures to post on some website about douchebags and their screaming kids at bars.
Ben reported this to me and after we finished our beers we went outside and she was still there, by the wall, with her dude. I approached her with my camera out to get a picture of her face and of course she had her camera up, too, so I couldn’t get a shot of anything but a camera in front of her face.
Then she said something about “adult places” and I was all WTF crazy bitch. If you’re seriously this deeply offended by a boisterous preschooler at a brewery I think you have bigger problems than I can help you with. Then, as they were walking away, she blatantly picked her underwear out of her ass and I commented on how sexy that was. Then she mooned us.
No wait. Take a second to digest that. She mooned us. She pulled down her pants and bent over and made us look at her flat, doughy ass. She made my child look at her ass. Because that’s way less offensive than having a somewhat loud child at a brewery. Oh wait no it isn’t.
Then, as they were pulling away in their car, she said that our child is going to grow up to be a stripper.
I don’t even know what is wrong with a person who would say something like that. Seriously. Our child is going to grow up to be a stripper? He’s not even 4 yet. You’re an asshole.
As this was going on, Ben was all, “He’s a boy!” because it’s kind of funny that you would say that a boy child is going to grow up to be a stripper, because you wouldn’t actually say that, because it wouldn’t be an insult to a boy. So it’s kind of like the laugh is on you because you’re making an insult that doesn’t even make sense.
But that’s not as disturbing as taking unauthorized pictures of my child and my family in public to post on a website without our consent — especially after some other dude just jacked pictures of my kid to use to pretend my kid is his kid. Like, fuck you, you don’t get to post pictures of my kid on the internet.
So anyway, I didn’t get many pictures of this woman and I didn’t get any pictures of her ass (not that I wanted them but I wouldn’t mind being able to unequivocally prove the mooning incident), but here are the ones I got.
I think her male companion especially enjoyed when I mentioned that I was taking a picture of his license plate so I could find them and sue them after they post pictures of my kid on the internet. I don’t know if I can sue them for this, but I’ll find out soon. At the very least, if I find this website (if it exists and it’s not just a tiny notebook in which she logs all the injustices life flings at her) it’s getting taken the hell down.