Hippie Wraps

hippie wraps n kale chips

I’m always hesitant to say I made something up because I know that when I make something up, somebody somewhere has not only already made it up but has, like, turned it into a for-profit business, like footless pantyhose (although to be fair, I’m glad I never pursued that because there is no reason for a woman in our time to be wearing pantyhose ever) and breakfast pizza. So I should say I made this thing up and didn’t bother to google it to find out somebody somewhere has not only made hippie wraps but has established a successful and lucrative business selling hippie wraps out of a vintage Airstream outside microbreweries, distilleries, and speakeasies accessible only through the hidden back door of a store that sells comic books and authentic vintage 80s rapper wear.

So anyway, I made these up and we had them for dinner and they were really good. I’ve been hearing a lot about people’s struggles with menu planning lately, so I’m going to try (you know how that goes) to post more recipes or even menu suggestions. I think menu planning to me is what organizing (boring, tedious, and gross) or budgeting (worse than giving birth while on a crashing airplane with only Tim Tebow and Colonel Mustard) are to other people. I love menu planning. Honestly, you could probably hire me to plan your menu for the next month. Oh wait, I’m sure somebody somewhere already offers that service.

Hippie Wraps


  • whole wheat tortillas
  • cream cheese
  • shredded cheddar cheese
  • fresh spinach
  • shredded carrot
  • peeled and thinly sliced cucumber
  • thinly sliced tomato
  • sprouts (preferably spicy)
  • peperoncini from a jar, stems removed and halved or quartered
  • green goddess dressing (I used this recipe and it’s very good.)
  • sliced Tofurky (optional)


Spread some cream cheese across the middle of a tortilla (just make a big stripe — it doesn’t need to go all the way to both edges). Add the rest of your ingredients in whatever order you like (the most important decision is probably which ingredient you “marry” to the cream cheese — I’d recommend tomato or cucumber, or maybe the Tofurky if you’re including it). I like to stuff my wraps with so many veggies I can’t fold the edges in and have to use a fork and a knife, but I’m weird. Serve with homemade kale chips. (I know they sell kale chips, but why. All you do is wash some kale, tear it into bite-sized pieces, toss with oil, sprinkle with sea salt, and bake stirring occasionally at 350 until they’re as crispy as you like.)

I’m happy to report Ben liked them and didn’t even add hot sauce. Soren ate most of the ingredients individually (I remember being like this as a child and I wish I could just fast forward him through the stage where you don’t like to combine your food items because life is so much more fun when you get over that) and fought me for the last of the kale chips. So I think this is a winner!


Winter Juice

juice tangerines lemon kale cilantro

Until this weekend, I’d gone so long without making juice our juicer was all dusty and feeling like a forgotten small kitchen appliance. This is a bummer, especially because Soren loves juice and will drink just about anything. Usually I make him something involving oranges and/or tangerines, an apple, a pear, and a carrot. And I’ve finally perfected my favorite juice that’s good for winter. It goes like this:

  • 4 tangerines (If you use really little ones, like those tiny little clementines, use 5 or 6)
  • 1/2 of a Meyer lemon (or 1/4 of a regular lemon)
  • 5 or 6 kale leaves, stems removed
  • a nice big handful of cilantro, stems removed
  • a few (3 or 4) ice cubes
  • a little cold water (maybe 1/4 cup or so)

I like to run the tangerines and the lemon through the juicer, then add that juice to the Vitamix with the rest of the ingredients and blend on high until it’s all nice and smooth.

Bonus: Chickens love the leftover pulp and kale stems!

Be Above It & Reubens

You have to listen to this (it’s a Soundcloud thing and I hope you can see it).

A long time — maybe two years? — ago, Ben, Soren, and I had dinner at the Vine Street Pub. One of the items on the menu intrigued me — it was a tempeh Reuben. I’d never had a Reuben in my life and honestly the idea of it terrified me, if it’s okay for me to admit I’m such a delicate flower I can be terrified by the thought of a sandwich. I don’t like 1000 island (except on the rare vegetarian Big Mac) (When I was a kid, my mom always put 1000 island on her salads. It was typically the only dressing we had in the house. I thought it was gross and, as a result, thought I didn’t like salad. Then I went to college and discovered ranch.) I don’t like sauerkraut and in fact hadn’t touched the stuff since my mom made me as a kid (although to its credit, sauerkraut was never as bad as the times my mom made me eat smoked butt and cabbage; I am traumatized forever). But somehow, the idea of combining all the weird-ass shit you combine to make a Reuben intrigued me. I almost ordered it but then didn’t, and the thought of a Reuben dissipated in the ether of my brain.

Until earlier this month, when I was thinking about sandwiches, what with sandwich Friday and all. At first I was going to make samosa sandwiches but then I was all hm, I love carbs but there’s a chance a combination of bread and potatoes is going to piss me off. Hey wait what about Reubens? So I put Reubens on the calendar for today and I shit you not I looked forward to it all week, which is solid verification of the fact that my life is not very exciting. (My latest thing is thinking about how, because I arguably could do my job anywhere, we should move to Uruguay. I am very serious about this.)

I figured that, because Ben and I have never even had a Reuben, we should follow a recipe. I found one that looked decent (here) and we pretty much followed it. Instead of 2 tablespoons of soy sauce, I used one tablespoon of Bragg’s liquid aminos. Ben made his own 1000 island (mayo, ketchup, relish).

I made this rye bread (I just throw all the stuff in the bread machine in the morning before leaving for work and set the timer so the bread will be done when we need it) and we used some super-fancy sauerkraut we got with our organic produce delivery (the “classic caraway” variety from here), Organic Valley baby Swiss, and the called-for Lightlife smoky tempeh (one thing to know if you make this — the tempeh will break into a million pieces while you cook it but this doesn’t matter).

Now comes more bad food photography but I don’t even care. These are so good I want to eat them every day for the next month, at least. It’s so weird that you can take a bunch of stuff I don’t particularly like and combine it into the most delicious sandwich I’ve ever had. It’s like magic sandwich physics or something.

Vegetarian reubens OMG

Sunday Smoothies

Sunday smoothie

Saturday nights are for, well, partaking and other fun things. Sunday mornings/early afternoons are for running and having a smoothie. I’ve finally perfected my Sunday smoothie, like so:

  • one banana (preferably frozen)
  • up to one pint strawberries (I usually use 1/2 to 3/4 of a pint) (preferably frozen)
  • 6 nice big kale leaves, stems removed
  • one cup water (or ice if your banana and strawberries aren’t frozen)
  • one Medjool date, pit removed

Put that all in your fancy blender and blend on high until smooth. Enjoy!

Also here’s a good Sunday song for you.

Leek & Veggie Bacon Pizza


You guys this pizza.

Leeks are one of those vegetables I’d probably never buy at the store, but when they started appearing in our produce delivery bin I was all, okay, let’s get some leeks. All I ever do with them is make leek pie, which is very good but after a while I thought hey, what if instead of leek pie, we had leek pizza? It would just be a matter of substituting pizza crust for pie crust, leaving out the eggs (which is bad because our chickens keep laying eggs at a much faster rate than we’ve been eating them), making a few other adjustments, and maybe adding vegetarian bacon.

So here’s what we did: garden-variety pizza crust (Ben made it), olive oil and lots of garlic brushed onto the crust, leeks (chopped and cooked in butter until soft), Swiss, gruyere, and vegetarian bacon (we used Upton’s Naturals bacon seitan, which you can get at Whole Foods or Nooch).

So good.