January 1, 2014

This morning was brutal. The short version goes like this: sleep deprivation + hangover + PMS = a boiling cauldron of chaos and terror.

The long version involves a sleepover New Year’s Eve party. This sort of thing is always a good idea in theory, but my problem is apparently I can’t sleep anywhere other than our house, so I was awake almost all night thinking about how I couldn’t sleep, wondering if it was worth it to get up to drink more water, listening to my dog (it’s not a party without Sadie!) pitter patter throughout the house and wait for her to come back while wondering what she was getting into in a new place, reading about planets, tossing, turning, sighing heavily, and finally dozing off only to wake up a short time later. The same thing happens to me while camping. I probably need to take advantage of sleepy weed before trying to engage in slumber anywhere that isn’t my own bed. Why I don’t do this is a mystery for the ages.

My plan had been to get up around 7. Soren would either be sleeping (no) or running around the house with his friend screaming (yes). He’d stay there and Ben and I would bring Sadie home, feed the animals, make some coffee, get dressed, and head to Denver Kush Club by the time they opened at 8. What happened instead culminated in me standing in the kitchen in sweatpants, crying, losing my will to live, trying to get Ben to understand that I couldn’t go to the marijuana store looking like this but I was incapable of engaging in the activities that would allow me to look better.

I hate when I get all dramatic like this but sometimes it happens. I’m awful when I don’t sleep.

A glimmer of inspiration came when I got a DM from someone who was about to travel all the way from Boulder to buy weed in Denver on the first day of legalization. That’s when it hit me — holy crap, I’m a huge lame ass. I’ve been talking this up for weeks and acting like it’s the most important thing to ever happen, and what a stupid flake hypocrite I’d be to not participate in the day especially when there are several dispensaries within 5 minutes of our house. So I sucked it up, did my 3-minute makeup application, changed out of my sweats and back into the clothes I wore last night (sexy) but for Converse All Stars (don’t wear these if you’re going to stand outside and it’s at all cold), drank some goddamn coffee and said okay fine let’s go. Ben was relieved I finally got my shit together, no surprise.

We drove by Denver Kush Club at around 9:00. It was cloudy, cold, and snowing, and the line wasn’t horrible but it was a longer line than we really wanted to stand in right then. So we went to The Health Center and it was kind of mysterious. The lights weren’t on and nobody was outside, but we knew they were supposed to be open. It turned out they opened at 10. So we drove by DKC again and the line was even longer.

That’s when we figured we should get bagels and wait it out at THC. Bagels are delicious. We got a spot in the parking lot and hung out in the car. There were a few other people there with the same idea. It was pretty great. We sat there watching people drive up, park in a spot right by the door, and be told by the security guard that they couldn’t park there. We saw people walk up and be told that they didn’t open until 10. I was surprised when it was after 9:30 and people chose to leave instead of waiting. This would turn out to be a terrible mistake, because from everything I’ve heard, every other dispensary had a longer wait. We watched dispensary employees come and go with office supplies and whatever else they needed to get this exciting new branch of their business up and running.

At around 9:50, a few people wandered up and got in line so we did, too. There were just 4 dudes (lots of dudes in line!) in front of us. As you may know, I hate standing in lines for any reason, but this was the most pleasant line-waiting experience I’ve ever had. Pretty much every person waiting in line to make a purchase on the first day of legal recreational marijuana is fucking awesome. Everybody is friendly and feeling grateful to be there, excited that this is finally possible.

A few minutes after 10, the door opened and we got to go into a small room where you get searched by a security guard (Don’t bring any guns, bombs, knives, or grenades to the dispensary.) and show your ID to a woman behind a window. Then the first few people got to go into the next room. We waited and chatted with the security guard. When the guy who made the first retail purchase at THC exited, everybody clapped and cheered. It was awesome.

When it was our turn, we got to go to the display area, where we were helped by a super nice, enthusiastic dude wearing a hat. He asked what we liked in terms of indica/sativa/hybrid and described some strains to us. We smelled some and settled on Super Silver Diesel, which is a hybrid and smell-wise reminded me of hops even more than other strains of weed remind me of hops. The guy at the counter gives you a sticky note with your order on it, you wait for a few minutes, you go to get your order filled and elaborately packaged, and then you check out. (Bring cash.) We were out by 10:30 and the line outside was much longer.

I was pretty excited.

me & a bag of weed

And here’s what a bag of legal marijuana looks like.

super silver diesel

It was a freaking awesome experience and I’m so excited to have been a part of it. It’s cool as hell to get to go to a dispensary and choose the weed you want to buy. And, we made history today here in Colorado! And I’m really proud of how cool everybody was. I’ve been following coverage online and on the news, and by all accounts, people were mellow and not acting a fool or smoking in public. I hope the rest of the country and the rest of the world sees how Colorado is handling legal marijuana and it becomes legal everywhere because man, it should be.